Suddenly I've Run Out of Secrets SHONEN AI
by FormerlyKnownAsRin
Summary: RevisedA little XelZel HurtComfort fic


"Suddenly...I've run out of Secrets."   
Author: Rin   
Category: Anime : Slayers   
Censor: PG due to some minor language   
  
WARNINGS: Shounen-ai. If you really don't like shounen-ai, then I suggest you don't read it! Pairings: Xellos and Zelgadis.   
  
Note: This is just a piece of romantic-fluff for my friends and my enjoyment, if you like it, well I guess it's for your enjoyment too. Comments welcome, however any flames will be read, laughed at, and whapped to death with a shovel!  
  
  
Disclaimer: The characters from Slayers are not mine! (I don't remember who they belong to, but they're not mine! I'm only borrowing them. I'll give them back...eventually.) I'm not getting anything for this, other than my own enjoyment. Please don't sue me, I'm just a student, and I have NO MONEY! None!   
  
***   
  
Rin: *does her best crazed-yaoi-fan girl laugh* Bwa ha ha ha! A Zel romance fic at last!   
  
Zelgadis: *worried* Who am I being put with? Amelia?   
  
Rin: No...I've gotten over that pairing..   
  
Zelgadis: Then who?   
  
Rin: Well...   
  
Zelgadis: *thinking* Is it Lina?   
  
Rin: *shakes her head* Nuh-uh, you know I'm a die-hard Lina/Gourry fan!   
  
Zelgadis: Sylphiel?   
  
Rin: Nuh-uh.   
  
Zelgadis: *wrinkles his nose* Filia?   
  
Rin: No way!   
  
Zelgadis: *eyes widen in fear* Martina?   
  
Rin: God no!   
  
Zelgadis: *lets out a sigh of relief* Okay then, who?   
  
Rin: Well...   
  
Xellos: *phazes into view* Hello!   
  
Zelgadis: *turns to Rin in disbelief* HIM?!   
  
Rin: *nods* Yep!   
  
Xellos: *grins* Isn't this great Zel-chan?   
  
Zelgadis: You're putting me with HIM?!?   
  
Xellos: *sulks* Mou Zel-chan, thats not nice!   
  
Zelgadis: Rin-chan!!!   
  
Rin: Aw c'mon Zel, it won't be that bad!   
  
Zelgadis: No.. it'll be worse.   
  
Xellos: *glomps onto Zelgadis * Zel-chan, we'll have fun!   
  
Zelgadis: RAW-TILT!!   
  
Rin: *sweatdrop* Zel...was that really necessary?   
  
Xellos: *lightly toasted* That was fun! Wanna do it again?   
  
Zelgadis: *growl* Fruitcake!   
  
Rin: Aaaaawwww...they're so sweet.   
  
***   
  
Xellos' POV:   
  
Another day dawns, and I watch my traveling companions wake to start a new day...I watch from as far away from Lina as possible. I learned fairly early on that she's not a morning person. Ah, Gourry has started breakfast....Lina arrives, following the smell of food, then Amelia...and there's the one I was looking for. Good morning Zel-chan. He won't be sociable until he's had a cup of coffee...or three. Not that he's particularly sociable then either, but its always best after he's had enough caffeine so that he really opens his eyes. And what eyes they are... He takes a seat near the fire where Gourry is cooking, leaving an empty seat beside him. Maybe I'll just move in a little closer and-damn it! She beat me to it! Ah, Amelia...self proclaimed Champion of justice. Happy, go-lucky, perky little princess. She's so cheerful and sweet, if I spend much more time around her, I think my teeth are going to start rotting. She always follows Zelgadis around like a little lovesick puppy dog. At the moment she's throwing her arms around him...and I admit, it makes me jealous. Oh, he's blushing! He's embarrassed by the attention...it's cute. Damn it little girl, get your arms off of him!!   
  
Zelgadis' POV:   
  
I look up and see Xellos watching me, and for a moment, I see a flash of- damnit! What was that? A flash of...something...in those slit-pupiled purple eyes, and then the "mask" drops back into place. I almost think I might have imagined it. I wish I knew what was going on behind that 'mask'...wish I knew what he was thinking. Wish he was thinking about me. But he isn't. I know he isn't.   
  
---   
  
Zelgadis was sitting under a large tree, reading from an ancient book of spells he'd found a few weeks ago in a magic store in a town the group had briefly stopped in. He was so wrapped up in what he was reading that he failed to notice that he was no longer alone.   
  
A soft clearing of a throat drew his attention to the fact that Xellos was floating, crossed legged, over him. 'He's back...'   
  
"What'cha doing Zel-chan?" asked the Mazoku in a sing-song voice.   
  
"I'm reading, and don't call me Zel-chan." replied Zelgadis, before turning his attention back to the page in front of him and trying to calm his heart rate that had suddenly increased with the appearance of the Mazoku. 'Concentrate on the words...concentrate on the words..'   
  
The Mazoku leaned in closer, peering over the edge of the book. "What'cha reading Zel-CHAN?" he asked, emphasizing the chan.   
  
"A book." replied Zelgadis, closing his eyes momentarily. "And DON'T call me ZEL-CHAN!"   
  
"All right...Zel-chan." was the reply, followed by a grin.   
  
"What do you want Xellos?" he asked, sliding his bookmark back into place and shutting the book.   
  
"Aw c'mon Zelgadis, can't you read my mind?" inquired Xellos, smiling.   
  
The Chimera smiled in spite of himself. "I tried, but I'm drawing a blank."   
  
Xellos blinked as he processed this information, then grinned. "Oo. Touché."   
  
Zelgadis rolled his eyes. "Fruitcake."   
  
"Hey! I represent that remark." he said, winking, leaning in closer to the Chimera so their noses were almost touching.   
  
Zelgadis' heart started pounding harder. Xellos smiled and-   
  
"Xellos!" a female voice suddenly pierced the moment. Both Mazoku and Chimera whirled around to see Amelia standing there in one of her classic 'justice' poses. Xellos and Zelgadis both sighed.   
  
"You shouldn't bother Zelgadis-san while he's reading!" she said, shaking her finger at him. "The quest for knowledge and wisdom is more important than your silly games."   
  
"Amelia, he doesn't have to go-" Zelgadis began, but Xellos smiled and gave a quick bow.   
  
"Ah, but she does have a point..."he said, "besides, I really must be going." he waved at them both, then phazed out.   
  
"He really is so annoying...Always causing trouble and telling little stories..." Amelia said, crossing her arms. "Always getting us into trouble.." she continued on her little tirade, but Zelgadis stopped listening.   
  
'Xellos...'   
  
---   
  
Xellos' POV:   
  
Damn! What is wrong with me!? I almost gave myself away back there.. I know better than this...know how to keep my desires in check. Don't I? I know that I used to be able to. He's smiling...Why is he so attractive? I want him so badly, some days it's all I can think about. Why is this happening? I am supposed to be in "control". I planned it all so carefully...I was going to seduce him, USE him. When did that change? When did I start to care? I'm a Mazoku. Mazoku don't have feelings. That's right Xellos, just keep telling yourself that.   
  
Zelgadis' POV:   
  
Xellos has been... I don't know, subdued, lately. He used to chatter at us all the time, now he speaks rarely if at all. He's been disappearing more and more frequently these days, and for longer and longer periods of time. I don't know exactly when it started, but I miss him when he's not around...   
  
---   
  
'Three days and no sign of him.' Zelgadis thought to himself. He had seen no sign of the Mazoku since the incident with the book. 'If only Amelia hadn't chased him away.'   
  
"So where are we going?" asked Amelia, turning around in her horse's saddle to look back at Zelgadis.   
  
He shrugged. "I honestly don't know," he admitted, "You should ask Lina."   
  
"We're heading to a town called Hydar." Lina said, joining the conversation. " We should be there in about an hour. The village elder sent me a letter, telling me that he had important information we could use about the-"   
  
"-the what?" Xellos inquired innocently, suddenly appearing in mid-air directly in front of Lina's horse, frightening the horse and enraging the sorceress.   
  
"None of your business!" Lina snapped, attempting to calm her rearing horse.   
  
Xellos mock-frowned. "Oh, Lina...I'm crushed." he told her, placing a hand to his forehead.   
  
"Drama queen." muttered Zelgadis, but he smiled to himself as he watched the Mazoku tease Lina.   
  
"You want crushed?! I'LL SHOW YOU CRUSHED!" shouted Lina. "FIRE BALL!"   
  
Xellos blinked and peeled himself of the ground. "That was fun!" he said with a wide-Cheshire-cat style grin. "Can we do it again?" he asked, brushing ashes from his clothing.   
  
Lina growled. This time however before she fried Xellos, Gourry rushed over and managed somehow to placate her, talking quickly until he managed to calm her down. The group continued their way down   
the road, and Xellos came over to float alongside Zelgadis' horse.   
  
"Zel-chan..."   
  
Zelgadis hid a smile. "So you've returned have you? I know how hard it is for you to find time in your busy schedule to find time to come and torment us."   
  
Xellos blinked, then laughed. "Ah, but for you my dear Zel-chan, I would always make time to torment." he said, bowing.   
  
Zelgadis couldn't help it. This time he laughed out loud. "I'm honored... I think."   
  
"What do you want Xellos?" demanded Amelia, riding up to join the conversation.   
  
"Sore wa...himitsu desu." he told her, breaking into a fit of giggles.   
  
Amelia just rolled her eyes, then rode up ahead again. "So what's in Hydar anyway?" he heard her ask Lina.   
  
Zelgadis smiled and shook his head.   
  
"Hydar? You're going to Hydar?" The question voiced and a gloved hand on his shoulder drew his attention to the Mazoku he hadn't even been aware was hovering directly behind him.   
  
"Xellos?" he made the Mazoku's name into a question, wondering what Xellos wanted, while at the same time savoring the physical contact.   
  
Xellos seemed uncertain what to say. He opened his mouth, then shut it again, without saying a word.   
  
"What is it?" he asked the Mazoku, puzzled.   
  
Xellos face was entirely serious. "There are rumors about this place. Zelgadis...watch your back." he said, then phased out of sight.   
  
'Gone again.' Zelgadis sighed.   
  
"What was that about?" he asked the thin air where the mazoku had just been.   
  
He stood there a moment, staring at the space where the Mazoku had been standing, then went to rejoin the group. He spent the rest of the trip wondering what exactly Xellos had been referring to. He was so distracted that he wasn't even aware when they reached the town.   
  
"What now?" asked Gourry.   
  
Lina unrolled the letter, and quickly re-read the contents. "Well, it says here that the town elder is supposed to meet us here, at the entrance." She rolled the letter up again, and tucked it back into her belt. "I don't see anyone..." She squinted, and noticed a small figure approaching from the town.   
  
An older man, Lina guessed he was in his mid to late sixties, dressed in a long brown robe, with short, close cropped white hair, and carrying a staff. "Lina Inverse?" he questioned.   
  
The red headed sorceress nodded. "Yes. These are my companions, Gourry, Amelia, and Zelgadis," she said, motioning towards each of them in turn.   
  
The town elder swept his gaze across the group, nodding approvingly at each one until he arrived at Zelgadis. The smile on his face vanished and was replaced by a look of barely concealed scorn. Zel forced his features into an expressionless mask. The elder turned back to Lina smiling brightly, and Zelgadis looked quickly to see if anyone else had noticed the brief exchange. No one else seemed to have noticed.   
  
"Shall we discuss things further in the village?" the elder asked.   
  
"Sure" agreed Lina. "Let's go."   
  
"Wait!"   
  
Lina and the group turned to face the elder expectantly.   
  
"You three are more than welcome." he said, gesturing to Lina, Gourry and Amelia. "this one is not." he continued, pointing at Zelgadis. "His kind is not permitted."   
  
'His kind is not permitted...' the words echoed in Zelgadis' head.' HIS kind...'   
  
"What?!?!" shrieked Lina, "And why the hell not?!"   
  
"He is part Mazoku." it was a statement, not a question.   
  
"Only one third!" Amelia cried, small hands clenched tightly into fists. "He's still a human being!!"   
  
The elder shook his head. "It makes no difference. Even part mazoku, he is still tainted. Mazoku are not welcome here."  
  
"But that's not fair!" the young shamaness shouted in disbelief.   
  
Gourry nodded, normally pleasant face grim. "Zelgadis is part of our group!"   
  
"HOW. CAN. YOU. SAY. THAT?!?" demanded Lina, advancing on the old man, voice increasing in pitch with each word. The elder in turn, stumbled, falling over onto his backside, and staring up at the red headed sorceress in alarm.   
  
The old man looked decidedly uncomfortable and Zelgadis almost managed to feel sorry for him. Almost. A pissed off Lina was an intimidating sight, and when she focused all her wrath on a single person...   
  
"Zelgadis is not only part of our group, what's more, he's our friend! WE don't just go and abandon each other! WE-" she stopped in mid rant as Zelgadis put a hand on her shoulder, and blinked up at him in surprise.   
  
"-Zel?" she questioned.   
  
"You don't have to do this Lina," he told her softly. "We need this information. Badly. You know that as well as I do. " He took a deep breath and forced what he hoped was at least a close approximation of a cheery smile. "I'll stay here and we can meet up when you find it."   
  
Lina opened her mouth to protest, but he shook his head. "It's the only way."   
  
Amelia's lower lip quivered, and her eyes began to well up with tears. "This is so unfair!"   
  
Zelgadis ruffled her hair, and turned the phony smile up another notch. "Don't worry Amelia, I'll be fine here."   
  
Lina sighed. "Alright. If you're sure about this...We'll be back tomorrow." she said, lightly touching his shoulder.   
  
Zelgadis nodded, making sure he kept the phony smile in place until his friends were completely out of sight, then let it disappear. He quickly scanned the perimeter of the clearing, both with his eyes and his magical senses, and was relieved to find nothing except for the usual small animals found in a forest. Satisfied that he was truly alone, he pressed his forehead against the tree trunk, and the tears and shame he'd forced in since the encounter with the village elder poured down his cheeks.   
  
'Alone...'   
  
Except that he wasn't alone. A pair of slit-pupiled purple eyes were all that were visible up in the branches of the tree, watching the crying Chimera. He yearned to reach down and offer comfort, and was debating whether or not to do so, when the summons came. SHE was calling. He hesitated, torn between his desire to keep an eye on the Chimera, and his duty. The summons came again, stronger. He sighed, threw up a warning barrier so he would know it anyone else came, then went to answer his mistress' summons.   
  
Zelgadis was unaware of all of this. He remained where he was, leaning against the tree until a shadow passed over him, and he looked up to see something coming towards him with incredible speed, he threw up his hands to protect his face, as something struck his head, and everything disappeared into darkness.   
  
---   
  
It was dark. So dark. And there was pain. Everything was pain. He tried to move, only to find that he couldn't. 'Why can't I move?' Zelgadis wondered in growing, trying to force his way up out of the darkness.   
  
Zelgadis forced his eyes open. Everything hurt....and he couldn't move his hands or feet. A quick look told him what he needed to know. Tied up. He'd been tied up. He strained against the bonds, but found it was useless.   
  
'They must have spelled them so I couldn't break them...' the thought was a chilling one. 'I wonder what else they know about me?'   
  
'Was this what Xellos was trying to warn me about?'   
  
"Hey look! The monsters awake!" a voice drew his attention to the edge of the clearing. Four men, carrying assorted weapons were standing there.   
  
Upon noticing that he'd regained consciousness, they came forward.   
  
"So 'this' is what a Chimera looks like." commented one in distaste. "He looks even worse than the elder said..." He spit on the ground at Zelgadis' feet.   
  
"Yeah." agreed one of the others. "Ugliest thing I've ever seen..."   
  
"We'll show you what we do with Mazoku around these parts..." tightening his grip on the club he was holding.   
  
Then all there was pain.   
  
---   
  
"Xellos!!" his mistress' calling his name snapped him back to full attention.   
  
"Hai Xelas-sama."   
  
"You were ignoring me!"   
  
No point in lying, she would know instantly, and punish him even worse. "Hai Xelas-sama."   
  
"What could possibly be so important that it distracts you from my briefing?" she questioned facetiously, since they both knew full well that she could and would draw the information directly from his mind. He waited in silence as she did so, feeling dread as he wondered, not for the first time what her reaction would be to finding out his feelings for Zelgadis.   
  
"Ah...it is the Chimera that you travel with who has been on your mind..." she said, mild surprise echoing in her voice. "I had no idea your feelings for him ran so...strongly."   
  
Xelas waved a tentacle and an image slowly came into view. After a few seconds, the picture came into focus and was recognizable as Zelgadis, in the same clearing where Xellos had left him, bound hand and foot and surrounded by four men with various types of weapons. Xellos watched, feeling ill, as Zelgadis was hit in the ribs with a heavy club. There was no sound with the picture but Xellos knew that even Zelgadis's tough skin wasn't enough to truly protect against a blow that hard. Even if he couldn't hear them crack, at least a few of those ribs were going to be broken.   
  
"Your little Chimera seems to be in trouble..." commented Xelas dryly, as one of the men smashed his staff against Zelgadis' shoulder. Zelgadis opened his mouth in what must have been a cry of pain, and Xellos watched, feeling waves of rage mixed with a feeling of utter helplessness that threatened to undo him. As long as he was here, he could do nothing to help the Chimera.   
  
"Yes." Xellos somehow managed to get the word out. He shut his eyes briefly, wishing he could do something....anything. If his mistress was truly angry at him, then she just might force him to continue to watch as punishment.   
  
Her next words caught him entirely by surprise. "Well then, you'd had better go help him then, hadn't you?"   
  
Xellos' eyes flew open, in a mixture of shock and hope. "You mean that I-"   
  
She nodded. "Yes, you can go." she smiled one of her extremely rare smiles at that moment, "We'll settle what you'll have to do for me to make up for it later." she told him, in a voice of mock sterness, giving him her version of a wink. "You're dismissed. Go."   
  
"I-" he began struggling to find appropriate words to express the gratitude, then settled for a simple "..thank you mistress." he said, bowing to her as he phazed out.   
  
---   
  
"Freak." taunted one of the men, swinging his club again. Zelgadis closed his eyes, and this time couldn't keep in a scream of pain as it collided with his left shoulder. He felt bile rise in his throat and forced it down again.   
  
'Oh L-sama....someone help me.' he begged as the tallest of the men advanced towards him.   
  
The man swung his staff towards Zelgadis' head. Zelgadis watched, helplessly as it came closer, and closer and then....Xellos suddenly came into phaze, directly in front of them. Zelgadis blinked, sure he must be hallucinating. Xellos wasn't there.. he couldn't be there. He'd left the group before they'd reached the village. He couldn't be there... but there he was, separating the men from Zelgadis. He had his back to Zelgadis, but Zelgadis knew with certainty that it was Xellos.   
  
"What the hell?" stammered one of the men.   
  
Xellos turned slightly, and Zelgadis was able to see the expression on his face. The mazoku's normal "happy-go-lucky" expression was gone, in its place was a look of pure rage. His slit-pupiled eyes were wide open, and flashing with anger.   
  
"So, four to one.. such fair odds." the mazoku's voice was a hiss. "You 'men'..."he spat out the offending word, "..thought you could handle a catching a chimera did you? He's only one third mazoku...I on the other hand, am FULL MAZOKU!"   
  
Dark violet light began to gather in his hands, and he advanced towards the terrified men. They turned to run, only to find that they no longer had control of their bodies. Using his magical energy, Xellos forced them to turn, and look him directly in the eye. He allowed himself to drink in their fear, and taste their terror, but it didn't give him the usual pleasure. He would kill them for what they did to Zelgadis, but first, first he would hurt them as they had hurt the Chimera. He would hurt them in ways they never imagined were possible, and he would hear their screams as they died.  
  
"Xellos." the name was a croak, but was easy for the heightened mazoku hearing to pick up.   
  
He turned to the Chimera, who had managed to prop himself up onto his arms.   
  
"Don't." Blue eyes were pleading, even through the haze of pain. "Please don't kill them."   
  
Xellos hesitated, uncertain for a moment what to do, then with a sigh, the purple light dissipated. He removed the energy controlling the men, and enjoying it as they fell to the ground in surprise as they suddenly found they could move again.   
  
"Be gone from my sight mortals....If I ever see you again, you'll wish that I had destroyed you today."   
  
They turned and ran, and Xellos waited until they'd disappeared from the edge of his senses before turning back towards Zelgadis. Xellos took a moment to access the damage. Blood was coming from a deep gash in his forehead, which had cut through the armor like scales and into the softer flesh beneath. A number of small cuts and gashes could be seen on the parts of his arms and legs that were currently visible. A dark bruise was forming around one of those blue eyes, which on a normal human would have been a true "black eye". Also the broken ribs....and there had to be more that wasn't visible to the naked eye.   
  
Zelgadis was stunned to see open concern in the mazoku's eyes. He tried again to rise to his feet, but the bindings on his feet still prevented him from standing. Xellos dropped to his knees beside Zelgadis and used gentle hands to hold him upright, supporting him. Even so, Zelgadis couldn't contain a hiss in pain as the mazoku inadvertently pressed against one of the open wounds.   
  
"Sorry." the Mazoku's apology was almost a whisper. "How bad is it?" he asked, taking in all the visible damage and feeling all the rage building up in him all over again.   
  
"I've been better..." admitted the Chimera. "How did you know..?"   
  
"I suspected that something like this might happen, so I'd been keeping an eye on you just in case." explained the Mazoku, expression grim. "I got called away, and then..." he paused for a moment, then continued, "I sensed that something was wrong and I came back..."   
  
"And rescued me." finished Zelgadis. He wanted desperately to ask why, but found he couldn't find the words he wanted. 'He was keeping an eye on me?'   
  
Xellos nodded and set about examining the Chimera's bindings. "Spelled. Someone went to a lot of trouble to ensure you'd be powerless.." he commented, waving a hand over the bindings, and watching as the enchantment over them faded. "They're just rope now.. I'll cut them off." He pulled a blade from the recesses of his cloak and began to cut away at the bindings around Zelgadis' wrists.   
  
'His hands..' realized Zelgadis, 'they're shaking...'   
  
The bindings broke and Zelgadis cringed in pain as blood suddenly resumed its previously interrupted course and began to flow back into his hands. Xellos quickly sliced away the ropes binding his feet, and put the knife away, trying as he did so, to stop the shaking in his hands.   
  
"Thank you." Zelgadis said, placing a hand over top of the Mazoku's.   
  
Xellos looked up, startled by the physical contact, directly into Zelgadis' eyes. "You're welcome." he managed, forcing himself away from the pull of the Chimera's gaze.   
  
"Healing was never my forte..."Xellos told him, "Do you have enough energy to set a healing spell on yourself?"   
  
Zelgadis considered for a moment, then nodded. "I think so...it'll take a while though."   
  
Xellos nodded. "Alright then...I'm going to go and get you a change of clothes....and something to eat?" he suggested remembering that food could help enhance a body's natural ability to heal.   
  
Zelgadis nodded gratefully. "Yes, please."   
  
"I've set a barrier around this clearing," Xellos explained, "even if those bastards come back, which I highly doubt, they won't be able to get through the barrier." He grinned. "Though it would be rather amusing if they tried.."   
  
"Why?" asked Zelgadis, "No wait.. never mind. "he amended with a wry smile, "I don't think I want to know."   
  
Xellos winked, than phazed out.   
  
Zelgadis settled himself against a rock, and closed his eyes, initiating a healing-trance. His magical energy reserves were low, almost to the point of being entirely dried up. He 'reached' a metaphysical hand into his reserves, and slowly began to cast a healing spell.   
  
'He saved my life...He showed up out of nowhere to rescue me...why?' questions raced through Zelgadis' mind. 'Why is he doing this?'   
  
When he opened his eyes again, the sun was just beginning to set and Xellos was floating cross legged in the air, a few feet away from him. At some point during his healing-trance a fire had been started and something that smelled absolutely wonderful was roasting on a spit above it.   
  
"Ah, back again?" Xellos greeted him, noticing he was no longer in the healing trance.   
  
Zelgadis nodded, fighting a blush that seemed to be trying to creep its way into his cheeks.   
  
"Well, you're looking much better now..."Xellos told him, " all the cuts have closed over, and that black eye has almost faded. How're the ribs?"   
  
"A little sore, but they're only bruised now...not broken."   
  
"Good." Xellos said, fully intending to go on, but at that moment purple eyes met blue eyes and everything he'd been intending to say suddenly rushed from his mind, forgotten. Zelgadis also found he was equally speechless, and this time he couldn't stop the blush from reaching his cheeks.   
  
Xellos felt panic rising in him. 'I have to look away...Have to look away before he finds out the truth...' He forced his eyes away a second time, dropping his usual 'mask' back into place and searched immediately for a distraction.   
  
"Well, getting you the food was easy, but finding you clothes was harder.. " he told the Chimera, "I couldn't find you the usual gray you always insist on wearing." He reached over and handed Zelgadis a pile of clothes. " I think they should fit you though."   
  
Zelgadis took the clothes. "Thanks." he said, making his way over to a nearby tree so he could have some privacy while he changed. At first he was cautious, afraid that Xellos might peek, but when nothing happen he quickly dressed in the new clothing. The clothing wasn't fancy, but it was comfortable. A dark blue shirt and black pants, not his usual outfit at all. Unsure how he looked, he stepped from behind the tree.   
  
Xellos was waiting, arms crossed, leaning casually against one of the nearby trees.   
  
"Well?" Zelgadis asked.   
  
Xellos let out a low whistle. "Impressive." he grinned winking. "You really should wear blue more often....It brings out all the colour in your eyes."   
  
Zelgadis blushed again, and almost dropped the meat on the spit that the Mazoku suddenly dropped into his hands.   
  
"Here, eat."   
  
Xellos chattered amiably as Zelgadis ate, and every so often he had to stop to laugh. Twice he almost choked. After all the food was gone, the two sat by the fire in comfortable silence, as the stars began to emerge for the night.   
  
Xellos was the one to break it.   
  
"You wouldn't let me punish those bastards, can I at least blow up the village?" he asked, face the picture of innocence.   
  
Zelgadis looked up at him in alarm. "Xellos!"   
  
Xellos sighed. "I was just kidding Zelgadis..."   
  
"Well, since you asked me not to destroy this wretched little town, when the others come back, we can get out of here.." Xellos said, "then we can continue on our way as usual... Lina and Gourry bickering and stuffing themselves silly with food.. Amelia saving the world in the name of justice.."   
  
Zelgadis smiled at the accurate mental image Xellos was painting of their friends. Their. The choice of words startled him. Not his friends, but their friends. Xellos really was part of their group of friends. Now if only he could be more than a friend... 'No..' Zelgadis told himself, 'he could have whoever he wanted, he would never want someone like me..'   
  
"And you, in your continual quest for a cure.." Xellos continued, and Zelgadis' smile vanished. Xellos cursed his own stupidity. 'Idiot!' "What's wrong?" he asked. "I'm sorry if I said something I shouldn't have..."   
  
Zelgadis frowned. "There is no cure." he said bitterly, "its over. Any hope I had of being normal again died with Rezo. I've only been deluding myself all this time. I'll be trapped like this forever..."   
  
"Why is that such a bad thing?" questioned the mazoku, softly.   
  
"How can you ask me that?!" demanded Zelgadis angrily. "LOOK at me!" he shouted.   
  
Xellos blinked at the vehemence in Zelgadis voice. "I am looking at you!" he said and Zelgadis was shocked at the slightly hurt expression on the Mazoku's face.   
  
"Ah, Xellos...I'm sorry. "he said, blushing in shame. "You saved me, and I'm just..."he trailed off, "I'm being totally ungrateful... I shouldn't be dumping more of my problems on you."   
  
"Maybe I want to know." Xellos said, equally surprised by his own response. 'I really do want to know..'   
  
"A lot of the things they said to me, I'd heard before...But those men were right about one thing...People will always see me as a monster. No one will ever want me. I'll be alone forever..."he trailed off.   
  
Xellos swallowed. " I have it on good authority that that's not true.."   
  
Zelgadis turned away. "Right.."   
  
"Amelia cares about you, for one.." Xellos pointed out.   
  
"Amelia has a crush on me...she doesn't love me, much as she may think she does. She's far too young to know what she wants." Zelgadis said, staring at his feet. "Even if she did, it wouldn't matter anyway....She's a princess, and someday she'll be queen. She'll fall for some handsome prince.. get married and live happily ever after."   
  
"Amelia isn't the only one.." Xellos said.   
  
"Sure...who else is there?" Zelgadis asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He put his face in his hands.   
  
Xellos swallowed, heart pounding. 'Well, its now or never...I have to tell him...' "Me..." he whispered.   
  
Zelgadis' head flew up in shock.   
  
"I wanted you from the first time I ever saw you.." Xellos continued, biting his lip.   
  
Denial. 'He can't....he doesn't...there's no way....'   
  
"B-but, that was over two years ago!" Zelgadis cried in disbelief.   
  
Xellos nodded ruefully. "Yes."   
  
"B-but.." Zelgadis tried to force his chaotic thoughts into words and failed. 'He wants me? Why would he want me? He can't want me!!' "But.."   
  
"My, how that word seems to have overrun your vocabulary lately..."   
  
"But WHY?!" the words were torn from Zelgadis' throat, and the pain he could hear echoing in them made Xellos's heart squeeze.   
  
"Because you were willing to be my friend...Because you made me care... Because you made me feel like someone might care about me." he reached over and lightly touched one of Zelgadis' hands. "Because as much as you might be under the misguided impression that you're ugly, you are the most beautiful person I've ever seen." he half-laughed, "and when you've been around as long as I have, you see a lot of people."   
  
"I'm not beautiful. I'm a monster."   
  
"Not to me you're not." whispered Xellos, pressing a finger against Zelgadis' lips to silence any further protests. "To me you are beautiful. Beautiful and very, very desirable."   
  
"You really mean that?" Zelgadis asked face gone expressionless, looking straight into Xellos' eyes. This time Xellos forced himself to keep his eyes open, even as a feeling of dread washed over him. 'Suddenly, I've run out of secrets. Well I confessed my feelings...here is where I get rejected'   
  
Zelgadis looked away, and Xellos dropped his gaze to the ground, so Zelgadis wouldn't see the tears that were about to start forming in his eyes.   
  
"Xellos..."   
  
The mazoku looked up, and Zelgadis leaned forward and gently pressed his lips against Xellos'. There was a moment where Zelgadis waited terrified of the Mazokus' response, then Xellos got over his shock and pressed his lips against  
Zelgadis'. When the kiss ended, Xellos stared in Zelgadis' eyes with delighted surprise.   
  
"I...I wanted you too." Zelgadis told him. "I have for a long time now, but I was too afraid to say anything in case you didn't feel the same way. I never thought that you might actually return my feelings."   
  
"Well, for the record, I do return those feelings." Xellos informed him, eyes sparkling, before drawing the Chimera in for another kiss.   
  
Zelgadis fought through a haze of pleasure and incoherent thoughts, trying to remember what little he knew about Mazoku. Something about pain being like pleasure? Gently he bit down on the Mazoku's lip, and he felt Xellos shiver with pleasure in response. Encouraged, he bit down again, applying just a little more pressure, then slowly turned it into a deep kiss, burying his fingers in Xellos' soft purple hair.   
  
"Y-you're very good at this." Xellos managed to gasp out, when the kiss finally broke.   
  
Zelgadis smiled, kissing the Mazoku again. "I'm a fast learner." he murmured into the Mazoku's lips.   
  
Xellos reached for the buttons on Zelgadis' shirt, then hesitated.   
  
It took Zelgadis a moment to figure out why Xellos had stopped, but only a moment. Zelgadis caught Xellos' hands in his own, and brought them to rest against the buttons.   
  
"You're sure you want to do this?" Xellos asked.   
  
"Absolutely." Zelgadis said, reaching over and undoing the clasp on Xellos' cloak. The cloak slid to the ground.   
  
"Good." whispered Xellos, waving a hand, and leaning in to kiss Zelgadis as a barrier was erected around them. "This way no one can interrupt us." he explained as Zelgadis left a trail of kisses down his neck.   
Xellos grinned. "I waited two years for this....I intend to make it immensely memorable."   
  
Within a few seconds Xellos' shirt joined his cloak and he was working on removing Zelgadis' shirt.   
  
"Didn't I just put this thing on?" asked Zelgadis in a teasing voice, as Xellos struggled unsuccessfully to undo the buttons on the shirt.   
  
"Yes, you did just put it on, but I would greatly appreciate it if you took it off!" Xellos mock-growled, and Zelgadis nipped playfully at his fingers, before undoing the buttons and pulling the shirt over his head.   
  
A few minutes later came the Mazoku's startled question, "Hey, who exactly is seducing who here?" followed by the Chimera's soft laughter. Then there was no more talking until much later.   
  
---   
  
"Well, was that memorable enough for you?" asked Zelgadis with a smile, from the circle of Xellos' arms. The two were lying side by side on Zelgadis' bedroll, with Xellos' cloak covering them.   
  
"My my my.. this day has just been full of surprises.." Xellos smiled, tightening his embrace around the Chimera, "but the most surprising of all, is that seemingly overnight my dear Zel-chan, that you have developed a sense of humor."   
  
"I think that might have something to do with your 'negative' influence." Zelgadis retorted with a laugh, poking the Mazoku's forehead. "And don't call me Zel-chan." he continued grinning.   
  
"I'd be quite distressed if it didn't." Xellos said with an impish grin, kissing Zelgadis on the nose. "I'm quite proud of my so called 'negative' influence. And yes, to answer your question, it was exceptionally memorable."   
  
"So, I was okay?" the Chimera's question held a note of uncertainty that hit Xellos.   
  
" 'Okay' would be a rather sacrilegious understatement..." Xellos said, smiling, but keeping his eyes wide open so Zelgadis could see he was being entirely truthful. "You were totally amazing."   
  
"Really?" Zelgadis asked, a strange look on his face.   
  
"Really."   
  
"Good." said Zelgadis, smiling. "Wanna do it again?"   
  
Xellos blinked, then burst into hysterical laughter. When he was finally able to control the laughter, he wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. "I'd love too...but you should really get some sleep. It's been a long day."   
  
Zelgadis nodded. It had been a long day...with a wonderful ending. But something was still bothering him, and Xellos could tell.   
  
"Piece of silver for your thoughts?" Xellos questioned.   
  
Zelgadis hesitated, then asked. "This wasn't just a one time thing, was it?"   
  
Xellos swallowed. "No.. this was definitely not a one time thing." He placed a kiss on the Chimera's forehead. "I promise you this is not ever going to be a one time thing."   
  
Zelgadis searched his eyes, and what he saw there was enough to get rid of his remaining doubts. He smiled and kissed Xellos. Xellos could see that he was struggling to keep his eyes open. He settled more firmly in Xellos' arms, then suddenly rolled over onto his stomach, "Xellos, what will we tell the others?"   
  
The sudden question caught Xellos by surprise. "About the attack?"   
  
"No.. about us." Zelgadis said, "about this."   
  
Xellos considered the question. It was something he had been wondering about himself. "Whatever you want to tell them." he decided, tracing a finger along Zelgadis' neck. "I want you to chose. Whatever makes you comfortable. If you want them to know, that's fine....if you want to keep it between us, that's fine too."   
  
Zelgadis took a few seconds to think, then said, "I think...that I want to keep this between us for a while." he said, "This is so special, I don't want to share this with anyone else yet."   
  
Xellos nodded. "Okay."   
  
Zelgadis yawned, and Xellos drew him down so he could pillow his head against the Mazoku's chest. Zelgadis sighed, and snuggled against Xellos.   
  
"And when we do tell them..." the Chimera's words were only the barest of whispers, "we can tell them together?"   
  
"Together." agreed Xellos, pulling the cloak around them both. 'Maybe I don't need my secrets anymore..'   
  
OWARI!  
  
Thanks to Lev-chan for helping me with the title, and  
to P-chan for showing me the wonder that is Xel/Zel!  



End file.
